The only “About Me” that I can state with certainty: I am a daughter of the King, saved by more grace than I can fathom.
If you are surprised by where life has taken you, who you have become, who you long to be, and the shape of grown-up life, you have landed on the page of someone who is swimming in that same surprise. And who is processing some of it here, in tiny thoughts and wee small jots.
I delight in joy and beauty, laugh quickly with others and alone, weep easily over both the sweet and bitter, and sometimes have too poetic a heart for practical good. Then I belch at a ballgame, chase the hotdog and peanuts with a handful of Tums, and all the poetry dissipates, making life suddenly very down-to-earth.
My worst nightmare is being misunderstood, having my intentions misconstrued. Writing a blog pretty much guarantees that nightmare come true. But …
I want to learn to be brave. If you know me and think all the missionary travel I do around the world counts courageous, I appreciate it, but I want to be braver.
I want to practice this gift of communication and writing that has been part of too many conversations with God, friends, and family for too many years for me to ignore. I want to practice jumping in when he invites me, even when he hasn’t told me exactly how it will look. I want to stop rolling my eyes when other people encourage me to write. I want to practice being secure in who God says I am, what he says I am worth, and how he sees me because of his Son and his extraordinary love.
I want to breathe my faith deeply and, as my friends in Asia say when we talk about trust and love and grace and growth, I want to “untie the knots of my heart.”
When I was little and imagined being all grown-up, I was certain I would know precisely who I was and what life entailed. I would be ever steady and have it all sorted. Turns out the grown-up landscape can be pretty slip and slide, hill and valley, salt and fresh.
But I am learning to be ever steady in who God is.