Don’t worry. Jesus and I are still speaking.
It’s the third anniversary of the last time I posted on a blog. Posted on my blog, to be specific, over at You Must Be Kidding. My last post, February 3, 2011, was miserable to write because it was painfully true. I remember pounding keys. This typically extroverted, sunshiny, loves-to-tell-a-story-with-a-lot-of-words girl had had it. I snapped over breakfast. And I didn’t think those around me could take any more of that kind of news. I wasn’t even sure I could. So I walked (stomped) away.
Three years can hold a lot of change. I like to think there has been a heap of good growth, but it has not all been beautiful to watch or experience. I am the same and I am different. I am trying to shape who I will be when I am 89 years old and I am trying to live gracefully in the moment. And the discussions about writing, with God and people who love me, never led to the news that I was not to write again, despite my best efforts to shut it down. I really did argue with God. And I wrinkled my nose at a bunch of friends. Threw kind of a great fit about it one night with Jesus in January 2012 in a house on the shore in Sequim, Washington. But that’s another post, I suppose.
Thus commences my act of obedience and new courage. I splutter a few more of the whys on the “About Me” page, but basically here goes an effort at transparency and encouragement; practice receiving praise, criticism, and silence; and trust that God will lead with the words if this is His venture and not a misdirection of my own doing. And even if it’s the latter, He still loves me and I will just draw it to a polite close. We’ll see.
One thing that must be shared in this brief, opening wee jot, though, is another major factor in picking up the pen again (or plunking the little chiclet keys). Many people have very directly encouraged this effort, and I am grateful. Specially though, of significance so direct it would surprise him, has been my brother, Michael. God has used him in my life the past year in a tender, vulnerable, mighty way, and I am deeply influenced by how God allows us to sharpen one another. Michael has a been on a journey of his own with more to come, and his change is changing me; so does his love and direct, unthreatening line to my heart where I can hear truth and gather my spunk and try it out in the world. Thanks, best of brothers. The warm winter cap your wife knitted just for me tips to you.